torn

What is wrong with me?
Why do I play these games with you?

Do you think I enjoy it?
--That I derive pleasure from my own disease?

I don't.

I am torn apart each day.
A vulture and a dove
--constantly shredding my mind, my soul, your heart.

What was it you once said?
--filleting my heart on your fickle mind
You said if of her. You say it of me.

And it's true.
And I hate it.

I wish I didn't remind you of her, the things she did.
I wish I could take it back. All of it.

Maybe if we'd never met you would still be whole.
There must be a purpose in it.
But maybe there's not.

I hate that I hurt you.
But I do it anyway.
Forgive me
--if you still can.

But maybe you shouldn't.
--all I do is hurt you.

What is wrong with me? --

happy birthday to my blog

I would just like to note the momentous occassion of my blog turing one year old today! I would also like to take a moment to express my pleasure at the fact that I still update it!

It's BIRTHDAY-TASTIC!

God is good!

single?

Tonight I was in chemistry doing a lab with my lab group of two other girls when one of the guys from another lab group turned around and asked "Are you single?" I just stared at him for a while and then said "...yeesss..." and he was like "Good! So am I!" Now at this time I'm thinking, This is really weird. Some guy who's fifteen years older than me is asking me if I'm single during chemistry? What's going on here? But my thoughts were soon interrupted by him saying "Can I work with you?" And then I realized that he was asking if I had a lab partner, which I didn't...but what a weird way to ask someone if they had anyone to work with!


It didn't work out, though, as he didn't want to work as a group of four, but rather as two groups of two, which my lab group would not hear of.

Oh well.

; )

it's talk like a pirate day!

Ahoy mateys! Today is International Talk Like a Pirate Day! Today is the day when you get to live out the dreams you've always had of having a good excuse to speak in "pirateese" if you will.

Here are some links to pirate fun (although some of it tends to be a tad ronchy):

"Find yer inner pirate"

"Pirate Name Generator"

"English-to-Pirate Translator"

"Pirate Books, Comics, an' stuff"

"Chanteys for Modern Pirates"

and last but not least...

"Stuff for junior pirates"

Above is a picture I made a few years ago for my friend Laura (aka "Ra"). You see, Ra is a very interesting person and loves to have a good time. Well, one day at a friend's birthday party, we were playing volleyball and Laura ended up poking herself in the eye and got a huge blood blister inside of it. (It was pretty nasty looking.) Obviously, she was really embarrassed about it, so the next day she came to Mass with an eyepatch on. But this was not just any eyepatch, it was one from her 5-year-old brother's pirate halloween costume. We all had a good laugh, especially when we went out for breakfast because Ra started acting like a pirate. She has a fairly loud voice anyways, but she began to shout like she was a pirate (because pirates have loud voices) and caused quite a scene at the local grocery store cafeteria.

For the rest of the summer, we were all pirates. Ra gave everyone a pirate name (she was "Pirate," I was "Smee," and my personal favorite - Ashley was "Poison Breath") and pretened to have an invisible parrot named "Black Death" on her shoulder.

So I drew her a picture of "Pirate" for her to remeber the good times.

Also, here are some pictures of Ra in her pirate garb. (The way she's holding her hand in the second picture is supposed to be her "hook."

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In conclusion, talking like a pirate for a day (or a month) be very fun and I highly encourage ye to participate in this wonderful holiday.

Thank ye.

employed!

So I now officially have a job! Thursday night Christina called me saying that her salon needed a receptionist, so I applied Friday afternoon and on Saturday got a call from Mary, who owns the salon, and she said to come in for training on Monday (today). It was pretty funny because she didn't interview me or anything because she trusts Christina so much. So...I am now an official receptionist! (How exciting!) And I also get discounted haircuts, products, perms, color, etc. and free tanning and waxing. (Though I think I'll probably just be sticking with the haircuts and products.)

So hopefully this job will help me prioritize me freetime better, as I'm not so good at that. I already have the initiative to start my homework due Thursday just to make sure I get it done.

Also my dad is on vacation in Virginia right now, and sent me this picture...


Gotta love dads! (especially mine!)

Anyway, I hope you all have a great week!

God bless you!

unfortunate timing

I thought this comic was cute today from Non Sequitur. Enjoy!

baptism by fire

Today I had clinical on an OB floor and it was so wonderful! As soon as I got there my teacher said "Kathleen, can I see you for a minute?" But when I followed her I found out that "a minute" meant "the mom you will be with today is delivering! Here, put on these gloves, this face shield, and hold this leg!"

It was so amazing! I had never seen a baby being born before and this was definately a neat way to experience delivery for the first time! Then I got to stay with mom and baby all day and take care of them. I had no idea what was going on half of the time, though. It was such a learning experience for me!

Rock For Life

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I have always wanted to work labor and delivery and now that I've been there I really love it, but I know that that is a lot of contraception and sterilization involved in OB. It makes me really sad, because my textbook (as well as my whole class) is so "contraception happy." One day we had an hour and a half long discussion about why "abstinence is the dumbest thing in the world" and "why can't they just not teach them about abstinence in schools and just give them the contraception like they want."

w

I know that the "abstinence" that is taught in school is just taught as the most effective method of birth control. I can see how it would not be appealing to teenagers when it is presented as that and then after they talk about abstinence they talk about all of the other forms of contraception and how effective they are and how fun sex is. Presented in that way, I suppose it would not be very effective.

w

And everyone seems to want to have sex before marriage anyways. When my class was having this discussion, I was trying to think of how I would teach my children that abstinence is the best way and I realized that in order to help teens to see this, you have to get to them before the world does. From the time they are little, a love for Jesus, a respect for their bodies, knowledge of the value of purity, and understanding why what the world tells us is a lie would have to be instilled into their minds, hearts, and souls.

w

What grace it must take to be a parent!

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Jesus, if it is Your will that I become a mother someday, please give me the graces I need - both when I am raising my children, but also now as I prepare for the future and learn about Your truths.

w

Jesus I trust in You.

w

my favorite textbook

So I am now in my second week of classes and things are not going as horribly as I would have expected them to. I was able to get into a chemistry class, which will really help me when I transfer as chemistry is apparently a major pre-requ for most nursing programs. (I always knew DMACC was an odd duck!)

Speaking of odd ducks...attached below is a picture of me wearing my favorite "textbook" (...or at least my favorite thing I had to buy from the school bookstore for class. When I got my chemistry books, the sign that tells you how many textbooks you need for the class said three, but one of them was the goggles). I am also holding a little "prize" my mom brought back for me from her school.


So I am in chemistry and I was also signed up for an online logic class, but my prof seemed a bit forgetful about that class (as in never posted assignments) and when he did write something, it was extremely unspecific, even after being asked for clarification. So I dropped logic last night as I still have 15 credit hours without it. (I only need 12 to be full-time.)

Now that I am only taking three classes at a time, I am going to see about the possiblility of getting a job. There is a knitting shop by my house that seems fun (it's a big pink house), so maybe I'll apply there. But don't expect too much out of this job search. I mostly just want discounted yarn to feed my knitting addiction and Wal-Mart can always supply that for me.

Anyways, I should get back to my homework. I had my first day of clinical today and need to write up a mini report about my day. It was pretty fun. I was nervous at first as I was going to be the only one there from my class (my teacher was only going to show up for a few minutes at the end of the day) and I felt like I had no idea what was going on/what I was supposed to be doing. It was all good, though. I ended up "rooming" patients, which basically means taking them to the back, getting their vitals/height/weight/etc, taking them to their rooms, and asking them about the purpose of their visit/any concerns they had. I felt pretty confident with that by the end of the day.

So tomorrow I'll be ready for OB! (Hopefully I'll get to see a delivery!) I get to do newborn assessments and a postpartum assessment of the mamas.

I feel a lot better about this having had one day.

I hope you all are having a wonderful day!

God bless you!