I have been excited for today for the past three months. Why is that, you ask? Well, three months ago, on November 12, 2007, I was eating a fortune cookie. I love to read the fortunes, even though I don't really believe in fortune cookies. This fortune, however, said:
Remember three months from this date. Good things are in store for you.
So, I counted three months from the date and came up with February 12, 2008. At the time I honestly wondered if I would be proposed to on 2/12 or if something equally amazing would happen. Maybe it was just going to be a good day.
This was all going through my mind as I wrote 11/12/07 and 2/12/08 on the fortune and hung it up in my bathroom's medicine cabinet.
For the next three months, I eagerly awaited February 12 as if it was my birthday. Each morning when I saw my cookie's message, I would have to remind myself that it was only the insert of a fortune cookie. Nothing to seriously believe in. But I still had hope.
Of course, this just had to be one of the worst days I've had in a while. Not only did I not get proposed to, but I ended up breaking up with my boyfriend two weeks before my magical fortune cookie's promised day of goodness. Then four of my friends got mad at me today and there was so much drama that I thought it would never end. The best part of my day was when I was at school learning about Zoroastrianism.
I have to admit, I was pretty mad at that stupid cookie.
Before the clock struck midnight, however, I had made up with each of my friends and my heart was at peace. I now have a renewed appreciation for my friends and the strength of God to move our bickering hearts to compassion. I realized that the devil was just sticking his grubby little fingers into our sore spots because he is mad at the goodness we encountered over the weekend. But (as always) God prevailed, making my love for Him and my dear friends stronger than ever.
Iowa 2000 is over now. I was in charge of the first aid station this year which was fun. I had to get nurses to come in to volunteer but it was not very hard. Mostly nauseated retreatants from the heat in the gym.
After the retreat was over, we watched a film called The Human Experience. Oh my gosh! How incredible and convicting! This movie is about the journey of young men searching the world to discover the purpose of human existence. It is a very uplifting film that really convicts the audience to rejoice in our common humanity and to find joy in our lives, homes, and families as well as in the world around us. Iowa 2000 and KWKY radio sponsored two prescreenings and two of the actors from the film, Jeffrey Azize and Michael Campo, came to speak about it and answer questions. After the prescreening, we invited Jeff and Mike over to hang out with our group of friends. It was so wonderful to hear their stories and to meet these awesome men! We had so much fun just talking and laughing and sharing each others experiences. I am so grateful to have had this time to see the film and meet two of the actors. It has definitely affected my outlook on life in a positive way.
I am totally going on another mission trip.
Jesus, thank you for this movie. Thank you for creating us and loving us. Be with us as we live out our humanity. Help us to live life to the fullest possibilities You have planned for us.
This weekend is our annual Iowa 2000 retreat and it is going well. Tonight was a confusing time for me, yet I had a great deal of peace. When I shared this thought with my friend Ryan, he said "I might offer that perhaps you are at peace with where you are and confused about where you are supposed to go." Perfectly put, Ryan, you genius! I couldn't have said it better.
I signed up for the 3am-4am adoration time, which was a time of inner turmoil over "where I am supposed to go," but it ended with clarity. God is good. Each year He is so faithful to me, showing me glimpses of His will for my life.
(kim made a new delicious cake!)
On a lighter note, I saw my dear friend Angel who has been recently engaged. Without knowing of my love for cake decorating, she asked if I would be willing to decorate her wedding cake! I was so excited! Her wedding isn't until August, so we will have to talk logistics in the future.
Again, God is good!
Jesus, thank You for this time away from the world to reflect more deeply on what You are calling me to!
I had to go to work today, which I wasn't looking forward to after my long, relaxing weekend. However, it was the best day of my life! I'm so glad I worked today.
First my favorite patient ever was admitted. Then one of the women I work with brought in a surprise! 6 one-week-old cockapoo puppies! It was so adorable! I almost started to cry. I had never seen anything so cute in my entire life! Two or three patients came up to play with them.
One of the ChildLife specialists asked the "dad" if he could tell which ones were boys and which ones were girls yet. My patient said "Just flip them over" and then showed us the boy puppy he was holding at the moment.
I fell in love with a little curly one with a white star on its forehead. I wanted to take it home with me! I'll post a picture of me with the puppy as soon as I get one!
It's funny how life changes. All of our plans turn out to be quite different than we had expected. Our outlook on life changes with each new experience. We even look different. I was just reading some old blogs of mine (as well as adding photos to my India blogs...see below) and am amazed at how young I look in the early photos.
Life is so unpredictable. At times this seems bad, but overall, it is very good indeed.
As I was reading my earlier posts, I found this poem I had written that describes how I am feeling perfectly. With all new points in life there is fear and reservation to some extent. We must, however, trust that God, in His goodness, will help us to discover His awesome plans for us!
"threshold of uncertainty"
I step reluctantly into the darkness -----into the terrifying beauty of the swirling -----------black abyss -----known only to the Three Uncertainty consumes my heart Had I not once been assured of where this path led? ----Yet now here I stand -------in the threshold of an ebony somber ------------unknown And ever so silent -------------------never revealing its long-kept secrets ------I tremble ------------I want to run to the familiar pains ------------------of things since revealed ------of a generosity too great, too soon, too certain Yet my feet are forced to walk forward ----------further and further -------------------------------into the night Why do I fear? ---------Was it not You who created the darkness? --------------------pronouncing it good ------Have You not promised to guide my steps? ----------------never allowing me to fall Hide my inhibitions from me ----------------------walk by my side ---Help me to embrace the night -------I cannot face the unknown without You
Jesus, please help me during these changing times in my life. May I remember that my plans are not as wonderful as Yours. Keep me always at Your side. May my love for You increase with each passing moment. Jesus I trust in You.
My friend Christina really wants me to go to Africa with her. At first I told her no, but I'm not sure what I should do now. It will take lots of prayer and discernment to be sure.
But the one thing I told myself was that if my dad was ok with it, then I would consider. When I went to India, my dad was so upset that he didn't talk to me for the six weeks before I left, which was heartbreaking. I didn't want to go through that again.
So I heard about a medical mission trip to Africa through work and it interested me. When I mentioned it to my dad, he seemed very ok with the idea, since it would be with a "legitimate organization and not two girls bumming around the country."