Monday, November 29, 2004


I just talked to Cecilia's mother, Sue and found out that I am not going to be able to attend Cecilia's baptism because of some family issues. That is disappointing, but I know that it would be best if I did not attend. I feel bad for Sue, she sounded a bit stressed about the whole thing. Her husband, Pat, said something to her that I thought was just wonderful, though. He said, "If you didn't have anything hard in your life, how would you ever become a saint?" They are great people.

So, come this Sunday, I shall be remembering the Smiths and little Cecilia in my prayers.

Hopefully the problems will be resolved soon!

Friday, November 19, 2004


I just found out that I am going to be a Godmother! :) I am so excited!

So there is this family that I babysit for...the Smiths...and they are the most amazing people I have ever met! The parents are holy Catholics and they have five beautiful children who are all very well behaved! I love babysitting for them because they are all so fun and unique. I am going to be Godmother to their newest, Cecilia who was born in October! I feel so honored that they asked me! They are the kind of family that I want my future family to be like.

So I get to pray for my beautiful Goddaughter every day of her little life!

Thank you Jesus!

Monday, November 15, 2004


So last week, Dana called me and said that her mom had sent her a package and that there was a present in there for me. She told me that she would drop it off at my dorm on Thursday around four. I was excited to see Dana and to see what her suprise was. (I suspected cookies.)

I got back from class Thursday at four and saw Dana's car outisde of my dorm, so I ran up to my room, thinking that she would be waiting for me. She wasn't there, though, and so after fifteen minutes, I called her in case she had forgotten where my dorm was. She said that she had been waiting for me at where I used to cross the street from the parking lot to my dorm but that I don't use anymore because it takes longer than my new way. So she met me at my room and we went to her car to get the present from her mom.

When we got to her car, she handed me a letter from Manuel! It was talking about why he loved me and I was reading it out loud to Dana. At the end of the first page, it said, "...and best of all..." so I turned the page over and saw:

The top line that is tiny says "I'm at the end of the tunnel."

I started crying and walking towards the tunnel, but Dana told me that he had moved and was now around the corner. :) It was such a big surprise! He came up because we started dating a year ago on November 12th. It was super sweet and I loved being able to see him.

All weekend we just did homework! I had five tests to study for and a paper to finish and he had a lot of homework to do as well. Even though we just did homework, we had a great weekend. I am super exctied to go visit him again in December for Christmas! (And then I get to see him a super lot when he [hopefully] comes up to Iowa State!)

Manuel...thank you for coming up and for planning so much to surprise me! You are such a holy and wonderful man and I thank God every day that He has brought us together and continues to guide us in our relationship. are so sneaky! Thank you for picking Manuel up at the airport and bringing him to my place to surprise me! You are the best best friend anyone could ask for! I hope that someday I am able to do something awesome for you like you've done for Manuel and I so many times!

Jesus, thank you so much for the gift of Dana's friendship and for the gift of being with Manuel this weekend! You are the best ever!


My poor little Neot is dead! :( I am not too sad about it because he had been so sick for about a week, but it is sad that he's gone. He had stopped eating and would just like at the bottom of his bowl all day, only coming up for air. It made me so sad to see him sick like that.

I found him when I came home from school tonight. He didn't look alive because his eyes were completely dark and he wasn't breathing. So I had a little funeral for him in the bathroom.

At least he isn't sick anymore...even though he's dead now. He was a good fish and he brought me joy.

Jesus, thank you for my little fish and for all of the joy he brought into my life during the brief time he was with me.

Monday, November 08, 2004

can lions be saved?

I thought this was interesting...and quite foolish. I'm glad he didn't die.

A TV grab shows local resident Chen Chun
AFP - Getty Images
An image taken from television shows a man being attacked by a lion after he crossed a barbed wire
fence to "preach" to two of the animals at the Taipei Zoo on Wednesday.

Tuesday, November 02, 2004

iowa is fun

Last week my family had a foreign exchange student from Chile named Valeria. She was really sweet and I enjoyed meeting her, even though I was only home for one of the days she was at my house. There were several Chileans staying with my sister's friends as well, so they did lots of things together all week. One activity they participated in was a corn maze in Ames, Iowa. (I have personally never been to one, but it sounds like a lot of fun.) They decided to split up (Americans vs. Chileans) and race through it. The Chileans won by half an hour! It was comical. So here is a picture of Valeria at the corn maze. Isn't Iowa the best?


There is a boy who works at our cafeteria who looks a lot like Manuel. So today I saw him and for a split second thought that he was my boyfriend! Haha! My heart stopped and I just about dropped my tray all over the floor. It wasn't Manuel, though, which made me laugh and feel a bit silly. Praise God!

coffee art

Monday, November 01, 2004

happy november!

Here's a super cute picture of Manuel and I from when we went to Steubenville this summer. My friend Christina just gave it to me this weekend. Hehe! Manuel has no beard! He's still cute, though!

mean boys

Last night Amy got three really freaky text messages. The first one said "I'm watching you," so we closed the blinds. The second one said "That's not gonna stop me," So I suggested that we call the police. The third one said "I like what you're wearing." By this time Amy and I were making plans to live in our dorm room for the rest of our lives. We had the door tightly bolted and the window closed and were each being consoled by our boyfriends. The weird thing was that whenever Amy tried to call the number or text something back to it, a message came up saying that it was an invalid number. Amy was asking her boyfriend and his friends to check their phones for that number and updating them at each new text message and on what we were doing about it (closing the blinds, etc.). Amy thought that it might be her boyfriend or one of his friends so I told her to tell him that we were scared and were going to call the police. When she did that, he said "You just got punked!" like that was a really funny thing to do to her. Let's just say Amy isn't too happy with him right now.

That was really mean. I was afraid that we would become human sacrifices in some sort of Halloween ritual or something.

I guess the way he did it was to go to US Cellular's website where you can send a text message and you only have put "To" (recipiant's phone number) and "From" (sender's phone number). So he just made a phone number up.

So don't worry, my roommate doesn't have a stalker, just a mean boyfriend.

Friday, October 29, 2004

fire at 5am

So this morning the fire alarms went off at 5am. Our alarms are rather odd because they sound like a police car siren that goes off for about 30 seconds. After the siren a voice comes on over the intercom that says "Attention! Attention! An emergency has been reported! Please exit the building using the nearest stairwell." After that the whole process repeats. The first time they went off was at 1:30 am the first day amy and I got to school. Neither of us knew what it was, so we just sat in our room until one of us suggested that we leave.

After the RAs figured out that some dust set one of the sensors off, we all came inside and went back to bed.

Actually everyone went to the bathroom first...the line was pretty long. When I got to a toilet, the water was sort of yellow like the person before me forgot to flush except I heard them do it so I thought that was a bit weird. After I flushed the toilet, the water in the toilet was a very dark reddish brown color. That was really weird. And the grossest part was that the water in the sink was that color too so I had to wash my hands in it. It reminded me of the movie "Dante's Peak" when, right before the volcano goes off, the little boy wakes up to get a drink of water and that is what the water looks like.

So besides the fact that the time I got back to bed was so close to my normal wake up time, it was extra hard for me to get to sleep because I kept fearing that my dorm was sitting on top of a live volcano and that Mount UNI could blow at any moment! Luckily that didn't happen.

Thursday, October 28, 2004

grandpa simpson

I love this picture of Grandpa Simpson from "The Simpsons."

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It is from "The Simpsons 138th Episode Spectacular." They are introducing all of the characters and then show this picture as "Grandpa Simpson" and then an even worse one of "Krusty the Clown." Very funny. Anyways, just thought I'd share!

God bless!

funny picture

I thought this picture on MSN was funny, so I decided to show you.

It was advertising an article about horrible dates. I just like the girl's expression even though her date is not really doing anything that weird. Guys do have to eat every once and a while.

It's too bad she doesn't realize that. :)

Wednesday, October 27, 2004

hearting you

I wanted to write something, but not knowing what to write about, I decided to show you a picture that Manuel drew for me. :) Isn't it beautiful?! I heart it.

Yes yes. So Today has been a good day. So far I've gone to school and eaten lunch. Hmm...not too many exciting things happened. But it has still been a good day. exciting thing happened, but I can't tell you what that was. Suffice it to say it was very happy and exciting for me. :) Yay! Thanks Jesus!

Getting excited for being able to go home this weekend.

Today is Nikki's 21st birthday and it is also Amy's mom's birthday! So happy birthday to them!

Alright now I'm really out of things to say! I hope you all have a wonderful beyond wonderful day!

God bless you!

Friday, October 22, 2004


I am super happy right now. [Actually I just got done crying, but that was because a dog died on TV.] So two nights ago my dad called and said that a counselor at DMACC had left a message on his voicemail offering me a place in their nursing program for next semester. So I called her back and said that I would take it. Then last night I found out that Manuel was accepted to Iowa State. All we need now is financial aid!

This is so excellent! I really am praying that all goes well because it would be so wonderful if Manuel and I could live only fifteen minutes apart rather than however many miles it is now.

I was also worried to tell my roommate that I'll be leaving at semester, but she was really cool with it.

Everything seems to be falling into place! I hope this is God's will for us at this time, but if it isn't, Praise God!

So if you all could pray that the financial aid comes through, that would be amazing.

I am also happy that I was able to buy some things for a certain suprize today! ;)

I also bought yarn to make another scarf since I finished mine. When I was at the fabric store, I wanted to ask someone about a pattern that I got to make an earflap hat, but the store was super busy. So I found an old woman in the yarn isle and aksed if she knew how to knit and she did! So she tried to help me with the pattern, but she said it was really complicated but the best way would just be trial and error. [Maybe I'll try later.] After that we talked about knitting. It was pretty darn cool!

Speaking of knitting, I'd better get back to it! :)

Jesus, thank you for this great week (and for knitting)! I love you!

Wednesday, October 20, 2004

exciting secrets

I have a secret and I'm really really really REALLY excited about it!

...but I'm not telling!

yay for patience!

Oh how thankful I am for patience!

amazing and wonderful

I love being Catholic so much! I am amazed at the Church's universality and at the great graces God bestow upon her! I would not trade being Catholic for anything!

I remeber one flight to Texas I sat next to a Morman woman. As we were introducing ourselves, she immediately brought up religon, which was perfectly fine with me. She inquired my religon and I mentioned how much I loved being Catholic and how I wouldn't trade it for anything. To this she asked, "What if you found something better?" and I replied that I didn't think there could be anything better.

I am just very very glad that God has placed me where I am and has allowed the Church to work so beautifully in my life.

I am so excited that this is the Year of the Eucharist and that it has just recently been Pope John Paul II's 26th anniversary!

Jesus, thank you for your Church!

Monday, October 18, 2004

a bit anxious

So I'm a bit anxious right now. Manuel was supposed to have arrived at San Antonio about five minutes ago, but right now he's either in Memphis (hopefully) or still in Louisville. He called me today twice while I was in class (silly boy) so obviously I didn't know he was calling. He just kept leaving a pay phone number, so I called it, but everytime someone answered it, all it did was make a horrible screeching noise and then it would hang up. So who knows what is happening. I will probably be able to talk to him tonight, although I'm not sure because if he's in Lousiville he won't make it back to San Antonio until 11:25 am tomorrow. :-/

I should not be anxious because I have a big test tonight, but I am. I know he's safe, wherever he is, but I always get anxious when I miss his calls when he is not at a number that where I can reach him. I have to go to Mass and Confession in a few minutes, but I don't want to turn off my phone. Obviously having a phone on during Mass is completely unacceptable. Ahhh!

Lord, THY will be done! All is in Your hands. None of my worrying or anxiety will help anything. Jesus I trust in You.

Saturday, October 16, 2004

and now relaxation...sorta

Yay! I am done with my paper! I am so so so so pleased! This is probably the first time in my life that I've actually completed an assignment the week before it was due. Well, technically it's not completed because I definately have not edited it yet, but I've written fifteen pages, used more than twenty-one sources, and have written every paragraph that I'm going to. definately needs revision. But that's what tonight and tomorrow are for! I really am quite happy.

So now all I have to do is study for five tests! Yay!

And I'm also excited because I get to clean Neot's bowl today! Yay! Poor little guy...swimming around in dirty water. I feel bad for him, but I didn't want to change it too soon and make him get all stressed out from constantly having new water.

Well, I'm off to dinner now! [a nice little break from my dorm] I hope everyone has a very nice weekend! I know I will! ;)

Friday, October 15, 2004

lego house for Jesus

This is absolutely amazing! It is a church built by Amy Hughes out of legos! You have to go to the website and take a look at the photos!

missing my Love

I miss Jesus! I haven't been able to go to Mass since Monday, and it makes me very sad. At one church, daily Mass wasn't avaliable this week, and at the church I normally go to, the priest has been gone and the nuns have been doing their inclusive language liturgy of the hours and such. I know that Jesus is always with me in my soul, but it is such a tremendous joy to be able to receive Him in the Eucharist! How fortunate we are to be offered daily Mass in this country! I know that there are places in the world where they are lucky if they can get a priest to make the long journey to their church once a week or even once a month. Daily, their souls must ache a thousand times more for Jesus than mine does right now. How very spoiled we are by God's grace!

I have been reading St. Faustina's Diary and have been humbled by her extravagant love of Jesus. She really loved Jesus and, faithful to His will, has helped others know His mercy and love for many many years.

St. Faustina, be my companion and teach me to love Jesus like you do.

Jesus I trust in You!

Thursday, October 14, 2004

three pages a day keep the stress away

...ok maybe not.

So here's a look at my upcoming week:

Monday: Microbiology test
Tuesday: Nutrition test
Wednesday: Stats midterm test and Psychology test
Thursday: Growth and development test
Friday: 15-page psychology paper due

This means that this weekend, starting today, I must write 3 pages a day so I can get my paper done by Sunday so I have time to study for the tests that I have in every one of my classes. :) Praise God!

So maybe it's a good thing that Manuel's gone this weekend. ;)

But, God is faithful because I don't have school tomorrow so I'll be able to get a lot of work done then, and it is beautiful outside right now...the trees and such, not the barely-above-fifty temps. But even that is nice because I got to finish my scarf and start wearing it! Yay!

Thanks Jesus!

Monday, October 11, 2004

sesame street meets west wing

So I had just turned on the television and "The West Wing" was on. Since I knew it's Manuel's favorite, I decided to watch it. It was funny, though because they had the characters from "Sesame Street" on it! Here's a picture below.

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Elmo on "The West Wing"

So today when I was walking back to my room from the parking lot (a good half-mile trek), I saw my friend Tony and he gave me a ride to the dorm, even though it was only fifty or so meters away. It made me smile because it was very gentlemanly of him. Yes, if only men would take as their role models people like Tony and Manuel. It is a breath of fresh air to see that not everyone has lost the concept of chivalry.

God bless America.

Sunday, October 10, 2004

victory for uni!...nevermind

Losing your own homecomming game is pretty sad. Oh well. UNI played WKU and lost 10-17. The game was pretty boring except for the last quarter. But we lost. Oh well. Good job Kentucky...o birthplace of my special friend.

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Go UNI Go!

So I'm a bit frustrated right now because I wrote a letter for Manuel to take on his retreat. It was going to be a really happy suprise, but it didn't get there. So I'm pouting. I know that I shouldn't be, but I am just really frustrated. I think what frustrated me the most is that Manuel said that maybe God didn't want him to get it. Maybe that's the case, but knowing what was in there, I can't imagine that He wouldn't want him to get it.

Jesus, please help me to trust Your plans above my own.

Thursday, October 07, 2004

it's someone's special day!

Today is Manuel's 24th birthday! Happy birthday, love! I pray that your day is going very well and that Jesus fills your life with grace! Here is a picture I drew on my computer of you. :) The confetti is acutally Grace falling all around you. :)

Have some ice cream! I've been praying especially for you all day long and I will continue to do so! I am so grateful for the gift that God has given me in you. You are amazing!

Jesus, please be with Manuel today on his birthday. Please help him to continue to grow in your grace and love. Amen!!!!

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

aren't you hungry?

Today I was really happy with Neot because he ate some of his food! [Ok...he actually just sucked it up and then spit it out, but I am hoping that he got some in his tummy and he knows it is something to eat.] Every baby step counts! Speaking of Neot, here's a picture I painted of him in my journal last night.

Everything else seems to be going a bit better, save my paper. :) I know that I should be working on it, but I really don't want to and I've been really busy. But we only have two weeks left, so I should really get at it.

Also, my friend Cathy who lives across the hall is moving out. She decided that now's not the right time to be at university, and will go back to NICC (northern iowa community college) and live at home. Best of luck to her! I pray that she discovers God's plan for her life.

I love watercolor!

But my paper calls...

Sunday, October 03, 2004

baby lion kat

So here's a super cute picture of me when I was a little baby. Ah 1985! You can't see my face, but that's ok. My mom just sent it to me so I can put it up on my door.

Saturday, October 02, 2004

procrastination pumpkin

I am worried about Neot. Ever since I got him in his new bowl, he's been attacking his refelction and he won't eat. Actually, he has calmed down a lot and doesn't attack the wall of the fish bowl as often, but he is also sitting on the bottom of the bowl behind his plant instead of happily swimming around. He'll probably be ok once he gets used to his new home, though.

Today I made October door decorations. The picture above is the pumpkin I painted. My scanner made it a bit too dark, though. It's much prettier in person. I actually copied off of a pumpkin I found online, because the pumpkins I tried to draw on my own didn't turn out as well. Of course I should have been working on my psychology paper. Sometimes you just don't feel like working. Ya know? Well I have been working on my paper at least. I have almost all of my sources [although I still have to read them] and I made and outline and the works cited page. I'll make myself work on it tomorrow. It's too late now!

Tomorrow I'm being a greeter at St. Stephens, so we'll have to see how that goes.

Ok...Neot has been exploring a bit more, so that makes me feel better.

Goodnight! God bless you!

welcome home neot!

Yay! So I got a fish today! I am so happy! Amy and I went to Petco this afternoon and picked one out. Most of them were really sad and just sat in their little glasses not moving, but the one that we picked out was swimming all over and looking at everything. It's so cute! He'll stare at you if you look at him. Here's a picture of what he looks like [almost]:

Neot look-alike

I just transfered him to his little bowl, and he is exploring his new home. I know it may sound very silly, but I absolutely LOVE this fish. It brings me so much joy and I just got it! I really hope that he stays alive!

Jesus, thank you for my little fish! Please help me to do a good job taking care of him so he can life a long, healthy life!

Thursday, September 30, 2004

are you going to pay for that?

Well I just got back from the UNI library. Oh yes yes, what a lovely place! Four floors of books from floor to ceiling...confusion ensues! I am writing a fifteen page paper for psychology, and my teacher insists that we have twenty-one sources, which is crazy, but that's what he wants. Right now I have sixteen which means I'll need five more! So anyway, I eventually found my way around the library after asking the information desk, and I found some good sources for my paper. So now I have a huge stack of books and I go to check them out when I discover that I am not allowed to check out books at UNI since I don't go to school there. [Even thought I live there and pay them for food and housing.] Whatever. So I had to run back to my dorm and get $5 so I could buy a guest pass for the library. At least I was able to check them out, though, since I need lots of sources! God bless UNI!

Wednesday, September 29, 2004

a fish named neot

So I want to get a beta fish now that my schedule at school has calmed down a bit. The challenge of keeping things alive brings me such joy and I think I would love my aquatic friend very much. I want to name him Neot after St. Neot.

St. Neot visits the Pope
St. Neot visits the Pope

I am so excited! I really hope that I can take care of a fish!

St. Neot, please help me to pick out a hardy fish that will help bring me closer to Jesus by his simple life.

St. Neot, pray for us!

feast of the archangels

I very much like what A Penitent Blogger said about Images of angels today.

Lord, thank you for your angels. May we learn to better appreciate the ways they guide and protect us.

Archangels  Michael, Gabriel & Raphael (Courtesy of the Supreme Council Website)

Tuesday, September 28, 2004

the good kind of change

So today I read about "The Necessity of Tribulation" from C.S. Lewis' The Problem of Pain. Basically, he said that we tend to run to God when we have problems but quickly forget Him when all is well again.

If only we could be like Job when the Lord allowed trials to fall upon him.
Naked I came forth from my mother's womb, and naked shall I go back again. The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD!
I remember how much comfort this verse gave me a few years ago during my "vocational crisis." I was on NET and really wanted to be a nun, but one day, God seemed to hide my future from me. Everything I had been so sure about was now in a complete haze. I prayed over and over that I would know my future. I wanted to do God's will in my life, but had gotten to the point where I would only accept one vocation as the answer to His call. So as Jesus was taking away my future, I tried to bless that Lord. [It was not as easy as Job made it sound, but it did help put things in perspective for me.]

My life is not my own. Everything I have is a gift from God, and He who gave such great things to me will never do anything that will harm me. If He calls me to change, it will be for the better.

I like to use leaves as an example of this. Here is one that I found on my way to Mass yesterday:

This leaf, as well as the other leaves on the tree with it, has been called by God to change from green to many different colors. It may have been scared to do this, it may have feared dying, but if only the leaf could partake of the beautiful landscape the the Creator was painting, I imagine that the leaf would gladly give its life for the cause.

It is the same with my life. If I am afraid that God's plans will "mess up" my life, I am stuck in my own, self-centered world. But, if I would trust that He has beautiful plans for me, as he had for my leaf friend, then I would not be able to say no to Him. My life is small and insignificant, but if I let Jesus use me, it can contribute to a beautiful work of art.

As a speaker at last year's Steubenville youth conference said, "What are we so afraid of from Someone who loves us so much?"

Sunday, September 26, 2004

faithfulness to calm the torrents

So God is very faithful, in case any of us had any doubts! He uses me although I am a sinner, and He calls me into His loving arms through the absolution of reconciliation!

Psalm 124:1-8

Had not the LORD been with us, let Israel say,
Had not the LORD been with us, when people rose against us,
They would have swallowed us alive, for their fury blazed against us.
The waters would have engulfed us, the torrent overwhelmed us;
seething waters would have drowned us.
Blessed be the LORD, who did not leave us to be torn by their fangs.
We escaped with our lives like a bird from the fowler's snare; the snare was broken and we escaped.
Our help is the name of the LORD, the maker of heaven and earth.
Oh Lord! You have been so marvelous to me in my life! Despite my pitiful attempts at holiness, You continue to provide me with the graces I need to respond to Your call. If You had not been with me each day of my life, my story would be much different. As it is, You have rescued me constantly, and mostly from my own faults. Thank you for your great love!

Each day may I exclaim as does Psalm 126:1-3

When the LORD restored the fortunes of Zion, then we thought we were dreaming.
Our mouths were filled with laughter; our tongues sang for joy. Then it was said among the nations, "The LORD had done great things for them."
The LORD has done great things for us; Oh, how happy we were!
May my life be a joyful song of Your great love! My Jesus, how I love you!

Friday, September 24, 2004

a time for everything

Here is an excerpt from today's readings:

Ecc 3:1-8

There is an appointed time for everything,
and a time for every thing under the heavens.
A time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to uproot the plant.
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to tear down, and a time to build.
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance.
A time to scatter stones, and a time to gather them;
a time to embrace, and a time to be far from embraces.
A time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away.
A time to rend, and a time to sew;
a time to be silent, and a time to speak.
A time to love, and a time to hate;
a time of war, and a time of peace.

I just realized that I have been going through life without wanting to face the consequences of my actions. Actually, let me rephrase that: I go through life desiring positive consequences to come out of my actions, both positive and negative.

When I do something right, I am all about receiving recognition and praise. It secretly thrills me and makes me feel special. So, when I think I am right about something, I want it to turn out my way. I do not think about my actions or how others will feel. And if I get a negative reaction, I get flustered, as if some unjustice has been done to me.

If fear that I have done some irreparable damage last night from my selfishness and pride. Yes, I was justified in some of it, but I definately let my emotions take lead. I want things done perfectly my way right now.

It is amazing how many times the words "I" or "my" appear in the paragraphs above.

Lord, I am so concerned with my own feelings and timing, that I forget all about Yours. Indeed, as the first reading today states, You have an appointed time for everything. If some injustice was really being done to me, would not You already have a perfect moment to take it away? Could my suffering not be a gift from You to teach me patience and love? You have already appointed "a time to be silent, and a time to speak." Were my reactions really necessary? Do I even trust You as I claim to?

At the same time I need to look at the other side of things. Lord, you do have a time for everything. "A time to seek, and a time to lose; a time to keep, and a time to cast away." Is this the chosen time You have set apart for me to lose, to cast away what if most dear to me? Is that what I really want? When I search the depths of my heart, I seem to become more and more confused. On one hand, I very much do not want that to happen, yet my actions seem to speak otherwise.

Lord, what is it that I want? More importantly, what is it that You want? My life is plagued by sin that clouds the eyes of my soul. Take hold of me and teach me to walk though the fog and mist, for You alone can restore order and peace.

Jesus I trust in You.

Thursday, September 23, 2004

my little "addiction"

One of the sad things about the college I live at is that a lot of people go out to get drunk on Thursdays so they can be sober to drive home for the weekends. Eveidentally people call it "thirsty Thursdays." So, the Student Life Committee has come up with a fun little plan to counteract this called "Thrusdaze." Each Thursday there is a free event to go to such as movies, or concerts, etc. It's really quite nice.

So tonight they had Kwame Jackson from the first season of "The Apprentice" come and give us his "Lessons from the Boardroom." After that they had casino night. I went with my RA, Kacie, and we hit the slots. They also had table games, but we didn't want to wait in line for them. [Not to mention the fact that I don't know how to play the games and that I don't have what you would call a "poker face." Just play a game like UNO of Phase 10 with me and you will soon discover this.] So together, Kacie and I lost $100,000 in our fake token galivant. It was a lot of fun though.

Manuel...never take me gambling with real money. ;)

rainy days

It is amazing how peaceful rain can be. Yes, it has the potential to get us in a bad mood because we left our umbrellas at home or we actually did our hair today, but the fact of the matter is that it's raining....and you're going to get wet. In just accepting this little fact, suddenly the rain becomes fun. You are free to look about and notice the world that God has created for you to see at that moment. It can be a moment of joyful, grateful prayer to the Creator of all.

Rain reminds me of grace. One of my friends once told me that when it rains, we can make it an opportunity to think of the graces that God is constantly pouring down upon us. This is why rain often makes me smile, if only I let myself see beyond my desire to stay dry and "pretty." My favorite times for rain are at weddings and funerals, as it reminds me of His constant faithfulness.

It may rain when we find it inconvenient, but if we let ourselves become lost in prayer, these moments can be amazing. And, after the rain comes a rainbow, reminding us again that our loving Father will never abandon us.

Wednesday, September 22, 2004

happiness comsumes my soul

So for the past few days, ever since going to confession, I have been really happy. I'm not exactly sure why, other than the obvious answer of grace. In confession, the priest talked to me about things to do when I get impatient, which is one of hte major things I struggle with. Jesus must be helping me accept His grace, because being patient has seemed a lot easier the past few days.

The thing that really amazes me is how happy I am. When I first got to UNI, I was a bit depressed because making friends wasn't terribly easy and I felt very alone, especially at the school's Catholic Church. Nothing has really happened to improve any of this, but my mood has been cheery. I have been able to accept "bad news" and "hard situations" with joy instead of focusing on the negative aspects of my life and driving myself further into sadness.

Jesus has really been helping me take joy in His words and His will. I know that His way is the only true one, and this consoles me. For instace, last night Manuel and I were discussing the severity of different sins. I had never realized how bad they were until that moment and I didn't want to believe it, but I took comfort in knowing that it was from God. It only saddens me that I have ever committed them.

Jesus, thank you for helping me lift my spirits. You are faithful, my love.

staphylococcus aureus

So I really love microbiology. It makes me so happy every time I go. I love the people in my lab group and the things that we do.

Thank you Jesus!

Tuesday, September 21, 2004

being in love

I love being Catholic so much! I just watched a movie on TV about St. Bernadette, and I feel so in love right now! I have never really felt like this before...except when I watch happy love stories and I feel very in love with Manuel.

Jesus, I love you so much! Thank you for your extraordinary love of me. Help me to love you daily more and more.

one-forth over

So today I was informed of the wonderful news that the semester is one-forth over. Now, to say it in this way may sound a bit pessemistic, but I find saying "three-fourths left" to be more pessimistic, so I am sticking with the way I chose to express it.

I just got done taking a nutrition test. It was actually pretty challenging. I am glad that I studied for it. I know that i missed at least one question, and hopefully I didn't miss too many more than that because I can only miss five and maintain an A. If I get less than 80%, it is an F. (Such is the nursing program's grading scale!) I do love that we got to leave after we were done, though. 'Twas very nice!

Well, I am going to read my developmental psych book now and have a nice little (and nutritious, of course) dinner.

God bless you!

becoming a blogger...

So I became a blogger today after much difficulty. My computer [more specifically, internet explorer] would not let me sign into anything with a password such as email, diarys, and this blog. I was very frustrated all day. Fortunately, my wonderful boyfriend is a computer genious, so he helped me out and told me to get netscape. I didn't think it would work, but it did! *Praise God!*

I know this is a really exciting "first post," but it's all i have to write about at the moment.

Have a great day!

God bless you!