who you've got

A few days ago, I woke up to the words "Sometimes it's hard to remember who you've got" on my alarm radio. I wish I didn't have the habit of jumping out of bed and shutting the alarm off so quickly because I would have liked to have heard the rest of the song. Oh well.

But how perfect is that? It is easy to see how amazing our love is when we are in a new relationship. We admire almost every thing they say or do. We fawn over them and shower them with affection. There is no doubt in anyone's mind of our feelings towards our beloved.

As time goes by, however, and the stardust begins to fade, we get caught up in other things besides the amazing person that we're in love with. At these times, it's a good idea to reflect on how blessed we are to have this wonderful person in our lives.

Of course I am still totally infatuated with Ryan and hope to always have this sense of wonder about him. I love seeing the differences between us because we complement each other. And the similarities give us points to deepen our relationship through shared experiences. Basically I feel very blessed when I "remember who I've got."

Yep. My boyfriend is amazing. (In case you didn't know already.)

Jesus, thank you for Ryan and for the opportunity to get to know him. You did a great job when you created him!

love love love

"Love contains the acknowledgement of the personal dignity of the other, and of his or her absolute uniqueness."

- John Paul II, Letter to Families

I am reading The Temperament God Gave You by Art and Laraine Bennett. It has given me great insight into understanding my own temperament, Ryan's temperament, and the temperaments of my family and friends. What a blessing!

Deeper understanding of what makes us tick is an important aspect of being in a successful relationship. Without this understanding, we tend to take things personally and have a difficult time resolving conflicts.

For example, Ryan is a melancholic and I am a sanguine. It's the classic case of opposites attracting. For a brief overview, melancholics are:

"Introverted. Loves truth, justice, principles. Reflective; slow to react of initiate. Wants the right thing done the right way. Not a follower of a joiner" (p. 85).

Whereas a sanguine is:

"Extraverted. Optimistic; interested; creative; adventurous; fun-loving. Seeks joy and happiness in relationships...Outgoing; involved; enthusiastic; eager to please" (p. 84).

These qualities are what have attracted us to each other because we see in the other what we are lacking in ourselves. I appreciated Ryan's ability to be reflective and he appreciated my enthusiasm for life (though I don't think he knew just how much enthusiasm I could have at times). I am grateful for this book because it has helped me understand that he needs to have times of reflection and soul-searching. I am able to shower him with praise and affection which helps him feel more confident and cheerful.

In turn, I am able to understand myself better, to realize why I act the way I do, why my emotional reaction is so strong but so short-lived. And Ryan is better able to understand and appreciate the way I work as well.

God is good. I'm amazed at the knowledge He has given to people like Art and Laraine Bennett which has helped so many people become better friends and lovers.

Jesus, help us all to better love and understand each other.

sicko

It has been a year since I went to the emergency room in severe abdominal pain. I woke up to get ready for work, but as soon as I stepped out of bed I fell to the ground screaming in pain. I ended up crawling to the bathroom but was unable to move anymore. So my dad took me to the ER. I had never felt so much pain in my life and wondered if my appendix had burst or something of that nature.

After getting to the ER, however, my pain subsided. An ultrasound showed that a large cyst on my ovary had burst, so I was given a prescription for pain meds and sent home.

For six months after that, I got a bill about ever other week from the tests and ER stay which added up to around $2000. Insurance covered about half of the bill, but I had to pay the rest out of pocket.

In class on Tuesday we watched part of Michael Moore's Sicko, which was the sad but entertaining story of Americans who have health insurance but were denied coverage when they developed medical conditions. It was a frustrating movie to watch because the movie inferred that nothing big would ever be covered by health insurance, so if you or your family ever gets sick, you will go broke.

Then he showed people in other countries like Canada, England, and France where socialized health care is the norm. Of course they were happier and healthier and did not hesitate to go to the doctor or hospital when necessary out of fear of paying the bill.

I hear so many different views on socialized health care and it is all confusing.

But I do agree that something has to be done to allow more people to have health care coverage, I'm just not sure what should be done.

Lord, help us find the way!

the hypothetical game

Would you still love me if...

Yesterday Ryan came over, which was really nice. After dinner I decided to play a game that my sister loves to play with her boyfriend called "The Hypothetical Game." Now, Emily plays this with Grant, I'm half convinced, for the sole purpose of making him flustered. But the results are hilarious.

Perhaps you've never heard of the hypothetical game, but I can almost guarantee that you've all played it a time of two in your lives. All you have to do is think of something that is not the way you are now and ask if your love would still be attracted to you, still date you, still marry you, etc.

For example:

"If I gained 300 pounds, would you still be attracted to me."

This game puts people in an awkward position: lie or be honest and risk offending the other person.

The above question was the first one I asked Ryan and he stumbled around the answer for a while until I said "I don't think I would be attracted to you if you gained 300lbs." Then he knew that he could be honest.

For the first 30 minutes of the hypothetical game, we asked really ridiculous questions, but then the the next 2.5 hours (yes, we played the hypothetical game for 3 hours) we started asking really serious questions that were very hard to answer like:

"If you found out that I had 6 months to live would you have started dating me or would you keep dating me."

It was an eye-opening experience which both of us really enjoyed. I would recommend it.