more wedding party

I had wanted to create a post about the guy half of the wedding party, but was waiting for Ryan to ask one of the groomsmen. Now that it's done, I can let the big secret out!

I obviously don't know these men as well as Ryan does, but I will try to capture a bit of why we love them based on my impressions....

Adam Babbitt: Best Man
I have never had a brother before, and I don't think I could ever have asked for a better brother than Adam! He is at the same time one of the most fun and most conscientious people that I've ever met. He remembers birthdays and always has the right thing to say to cheer me up, but he is never afraid to sass me as if I've been his sister forever!

Joe Pometto
Joe is like a brother to Ryan and I'm excited to be unofficially related to him as well! He met Ryan at a Steubenville summer conference and their friendship soon grew into one of the best bands I've ever heard! Joe is a talented drummer and a great friend! I also love the (often humorous) marital advice he gives Ryan, as he and Ruth Ann have been married the longest in our group. He's such a great guy!

Tony Pometto
Tony is the newest edition to Vow of Silence. (And what a genius decision!) He is one of the funniest people I've ever met. I don't know how he comes up with some of his crazy ideas, but they are always good. Not only is Tony funny, but he is a devoted friend and a great guy by whom I always feel very honored.

Sean Stanek
Sean! I must admit I am pretty fascinated by Sean...mostly because he leads such a mysterious life. Not only is he Ryan's cousin and roommate, but he is also a thoughtful, caring, loyal man. I really enjoy talking with him and smelling the delicious food me makes! I am also especially impressed by Sean's family values in the ways he looks out for and visits his family, especially his Grandma.

Steve Shaner
Steve and Ryan met in the very beginning of their journey at Iowa State University and are now both working on PhD's in computer science. I always enjoy hanging out with Steve because he is interesting, fun, knowledgeable, and has lots of good game ideas.

Dave Niedergeses
Dave was one of Ryan's roommates until he got married to Jordan last year. Dave is a genuinely nice and caring person and I've enjoyed getting to know him. He is getting his PhD in English at Iowa State, but if that falls through I know he has a guaranteed no-fail idea for a delicious eating establishment. But I'm sworn to secrecy so please don't pry.

Nate Sanderson
Nate is another one of Ryan's former roommates and probably one of Vow of Silence's biggest fans. I love it when Nate is able to make it to shows because his enthusiasm for the band makes the crowd rock even harder! He is a really devoted friend and I am always really touched by his heart-felt comments and compliments.

Ken Hiveley
Ken has recently left Ames to go to seminary in Minnesota, but Ryan and I are left with fun memories of our time together here. Ryan and Ken enjoy spending time having deep philosophical and theological discussions. One of my favorite memories of Ken is when he introduced Ryan and me to Stephen K. Ray and "The Footprints of God Pilgrimages" videos. Priceless.

John DeWyze: Personal Attendant
Sadly, John also left the Ames crowd this year for grad school at Dayton. I can't think of anyone better to be Ryan's personal attendant! John is a really thoughtful and caring guy who has a real desire to serve others and brighten their day. I am always impressed by his sense of chivalry and compassion for others. I wish he could be my brother as well, but sadly it's not to be!

Roman Pometto: Ring Bearer
The following sentence is a lie: Roman was an addition to the wedding party because we wanted to see how many Pomettos we could have in one wedding! Now for the truth: Roman is Ryan's Godson and the smartest little boy you will ever meet! I have really loved watching him grow under the guidance of his excellent parents. He is so much fun and brings smiles and laughs to everyone around him. I see so much wonderful potential in little Ro and am praying for his extremely bright future!

_______

So there you have it! The XY side of the wedding party! These men are all amazing and I am so blessed to know each of them. I am honored to have them witness my marriage to Ryan and know that we will all be friends for many years to come!

wedding party

Our wedding party is rather large...

When people ask you who your closest friends are, it isn't usual to have 10 people to pick from, but I am blessed to be a part of such an awesome group of girls! I feel so blessed to know each of them and to have each of them witness my marriage to Ryan!

Unfortunately, Ryan could only think of 8 men to chose as groomsmen, so I had to narrow down the list. Worst decisions ever! So I now have 8 bridesmaids and 2 personal attendants. :)

And they are....

Emily Balch: Maid of Honor
Emily and I have been sisters and friends for 22 years. We are complete opposites in many ways, but that never stops us from having a great time together! Emily is going to be starting Law School next year, which is very exciting!

Dana Morris
Dana and I went to high school together. She is now a band teacher in Mount Ayr, Iowa and we sadly only see each other every once and a while, but we always pick up where we left off. In more embarrassing memories, we used to be in a "band" called the Pink Cheetos. So cool!

Kimberly Kem
Kim and I lived together for 2.5 years. We went through nursing school together (but at separate schools) and traveled to India together, where I could not save her from being bitten by a monkey. She has inspired me in many ways but especially to make my own wedding cake after I watched her make and decorate 400 cupcakes for her own wedding!

Ruth Ann Pometto
Ruth Ann is my inspiration for life (besides my Grandma). She is an amazing friend, wife, mother, and Christian. I was touched by her generous spirit and kindness to strangers when we first met. Hopefully I can be a good wife to Ryan by following her example!

Christina Fath (soon to be Weber!)
Christina is another inspiration to me. I would have made some pretty bad decisions in life without her influence. She has such a generous heart for her friends. I remember Christina told us once that she felt like she needed to be single until we were all with the person we were going to marry. And true to her word, she met Jon after we all met our future spouses and they will be married July 4, 2009!

Kimberley Taylor
Kim is the girlfriend of Ryan's brother Adam (and hopefully my future sister!). She always surprises me by her sauciness and whit, definitely a good match for Adam. Kim and I have been able to spend a lot of time together at the boys' house or at their shows and I have really treasured our friendship!

Michelle Wirth (soon to be Werner!)
Chelle came to live with Kim K and I after Meggan moved out. She works as the DRE in Elkart, Iowa and is getting married to Brian in November! Chelle is an artist and an athlete. I have fond memories of visiting her family's sheep farm and bike riding around Ames last year!

Meggan Young
Meggan lived with Kim K and I until she married James in December 2008. She was a big part of my learning to become an adult and would patiently listen to me for hours as she was trying to get ready for bed. She was very helpful as Kim and I prepared to go to India, as she had been there twice.

Monica Clinesmith: Personal Attendant
Dr. Monica is a wealth of knowledge and fun. One thing I love about her is that she loves to invite people to go on walks or go out to eat, which are some of my favorite past times. She is great at keeping us on task in Bible study and as making Roman laugh, which entertains us all! Some fond memories with Monica are the ice cream social we had when the power went out, her Jamaican birthday, and of course the many walks we've taken together.

Suzee Stone: Personal Attendant
Suzee is a kind and wonderful friend. I met her in high school and was instantly drawn to her. We used to pray together at retreats and I always looked forward to seeing her every summer. A fun fact about Suzee and I is that she married my prom date, Phil, and I am going to marry her prom date! Suzee has a long history in dance, which came in useful when I needed help trying on so many dresses!

Cecilia Smith: Flower Girl
Cecie is my Goddaughter. She will be 5 years old in October. I have been babysitting for their family since I was 11 years old and their 13-year old was an infant. Cecie is the 5th of their 6 children. I love to babysit for the Smiths, it is so much fun because they are all such good kids. Cecie's parents are also our sponsor couple for marriage prep!

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Kim K got married last year (see old posts) with 9 bridesmaids. I love what she would say when people would question her having so many bridesmaids:

"When people only have 1 bridesmaid, no one says 'So I see you have no friends!' So why does everyone find it strange that I have so many friends!"

It's remarks like that that make me love these girls even more!

cupcakes

I made these cupcakes for one of my patients. I got the idea out of a book that Ryan got me for Christmas! Aren't they cute?!

slacker...

Life has been busy lately, but the real reason for me being a blogging slacker is that they blocked this website at work. :( What am I supposed to do with myself now?

Wedding plans have been slowing down, which is good. Flowers, caterer, photographer, church, my dress, and [almost] tuxes have been figured out. It took about 4 weeks before I found a reception site that was open and in my price range, that was the most frustrating part.

Actually the most frustrating part may have been picking out bridesmaid dresses. I had been to every bridesmaid shop in town, tried on most of the dresses in each store, and hated everything. Finally, Kim and I (who was 5 or 6 months pregnant at the time) went to the store where I got my wedding dress (again) and tried on about 1/2 of the dresses. We found 2 that we liked.

But not everyone was a big fan of those...so back to square one.

I got an email from Kim one night with a picture of a dress from David's Bridal that she liked, so we went there that week and everyone loved it and they are now all bought and ordered!

In the meantime, I have been working on invitations and making practice cakes. I take them to work because you can't leave me alone with a cake...even if it is Lent!

Next on the list is booking the honeymoon and rehearsal dinner location!

What do you think of the cakes?

you are dust

"Remember, you are dust and unto dust you shall return"

Given the recent loss of Heidi, this just made me cry all through Mass. All of the songs about ashes seemed pretty cruel the day after losing my little friend. But at the same time, I am reminded of the Cross of Christ. I must pick up my Cross and follow Him, no matter where He leads or how hard it might be.

And that, actually, gives me hope.

adult decisions

A good way to avoid hurt and sadness in life are to stay away from a few signs. #1: when Facebook says Single, looking for a relationship. #2: when a sign says House-broken dog $60. But then again, It is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

My poor little puppy, Heidi, died today. We had to put her to sleep after she fell last night. She had fallen down a flight of stairs this past summer and injured her hip. It had taken her several weeks to be able to stand up on her own and she had deteriorated a lot. The entire 12 years that she was with our family, she acted like a puppy...so full of life. But the last 6 months she was struggling to get off of the floor from a lying position, she walked really slowly, she was getting cataracts, and she was not hearing as well.

So last night she was jumping up and down (forgetting that she wasn't a puppy anymore) and fell down, injuring her other hip. She laid on the ground, unable to get up, panting heavily and crying. She was unable to go to the bathroom since 6pm the night before and had thrown up twice.

I found out about it on my way to Ames last night and was hysterical. I was going to drive home, but decided that I was too tired and too upset to be driving. So I slept (or tried to sleep) for about 5 hours and then drove back home in the morning. My sister arrived later in the afternoon. We just held Heidi and cried, brushed her, and lavished her with attention. She calmed down a lot when Emily arrived. (I think Heidi always thought Emily was one of her puppies.) She licked up in the face when we cried and just rested in our laps.

It was so hard to see my dad's reaction to her being so hurt. He obviously loved Heidi very much and felt helpless. He would support her belly and help her to limp around the yard. He carried her to and from the house. Eventually he just sat with her on the kitchen floor for 2 hours, petting her, staring at the wall.

He had to make an adult decision today. These decisions are not easy because you have to make them based on what is best, not on what you want. I admire my dad's bravery so much.

After Emily arrived and had spent some time with her, my dad's friend Dave came over to help my dad take her to the vet. We walked Heidi around the yard one last time with a towel under her belly for support. We were all relieved when she was finally able to go to the bathroom with the towel support. After Emily and I hugged Heidi for the last time and she gave us each a good lick in the face, my dad carried her to the back of the van where he had prepared a little bed for her. Dave sat back there with her to comfort her. Emily and I stayed home to talk about Heidi and the good times we'd had with her.

An hour later my dad returned. Alone.

The vet had given her a full exam. Apparently Heidi had dislocated her good hip. Both of her hip muscles had atrophied to the point that they were almost useless and would be unable to regenerate, so she wouldn't be able to walk again. She had fatty tumors in her abdomen pressing her hip joints back, making it harder to walk. She also had severe osteoarthritis in her joints, making walking very painful for her.

At age 12, surgery would be too much, and their wasn't really a surgical option anyway. The only thing we would have been able to do was to have a doggie wheelchair made that she would have to sit in and use her front paws to propel. This would not solve the pain of her dislocated hip or her osteoarthritis, however. So, we had Heidi put to sleep.

I've never seen my dad cry. I've seen him tear up twice: today and when Emily left for Europe for 6 months. I only know about him crying twice: with each time we had to put a dog to sleep. He said he cried like a baby and they had to bring him a box of Kleenex. But it was a peaceful death for her and she went about 10 seconds after the injection.

I don't think I've every cried so much in my life. I pretty much cried all last night and all day today. Heidi wasn't just a dog to us, she was truly a member of our family. I feel as if I have lost a sister.

She was such a good dog. She had her naughty moments, but they were all pretty funny to look back on. Like the time she stole our pot roast from the counter top and dragged it under the kitchen table. Knowing she wasn't supposed to have it, though, she just licked it for a little bit. When we discovered her with it, she sent herself to the basement before we could send her there ourselves. :)

There's a lot of good memories that we shared and laughed about together. As much as it hurts to have her gone, I am so glad that she was with us for the past 12 years. She has showed me so much about what unconditional love is. I will miss her so much.

Jesus, thank you for Heidi and for the time you gave us with her. Please heal our hearts and help her memory to live on.

practice #1

I decided (against the advice of many) that I am going to make my own wedding cake. I know that I can make a nice one, (contrary to the example above) but I want to make some practice cakes to see just how much effort it takes to make a layered cake. After all, I want to be good at it so my wedding cake doesn't fall apart.

So last night I was at they boy's house with nothing to do. After cleaning their kitchen out of boredom (a 2 hour job) I decided to make a cake. So I whipped this thing up in about 4 hours.

Unfortunately, I didn't bring any of my circle cake pans and had to make the cake using some lasagna dishes. It is a bit lopsided because the drive back to Des Moines from Ames was a bit rough on it. I also decided that making a square cake is kind of out of the question because all of the crumbs from me having to cut the rounded edges off got caught in the frosting. I was pretty upset about it at first until I decided to make it look like it was on purpose and turned it into a cookies and cream cake. So cute!

I'm going to take my practice cakes to work (where they will be highly under-appreciated but quickly consumed) unless anyone has any special occasions coming up and would like a practice wedding cake to be there. I'm making one for Kim's baby shower in March, but that's it!

Some tips to remember:
-Buy more frosting than you think you'll need to make a couple of layers to hide crumbs.
-Don't use lasagna pans...just don't do it.
-Mistakes can be ok if you're creative.
-Don't drive a cake 45 miles in the sun with no one to keep it level!

why i love groundhog's day

So it's almost been a weeks since I've gotten engaged and I probably should tell you all how it happened!

Ryan is sneaky. I'll start off by saying that. We have been seriously talking about getting married at the end of the summer since October or so. With the required 6-months engagement period in the Des Moines Diocese, that meant that by February we would have to be engaged. (No pressure, Ryan! I am horrible at being patient.)

It didn't look like it was going to happen by then, so I was trying my best to be patient and supportive of Ryan as he worked on lots of school stuff, band stuff, church stuff, etc. We did go to look at engagement rings in January and decided on two options that I really liked. I had asked that we look at rings when he wasn't ready to propose. That way he would know my preferences and then I wouldn't become neurotic after two weeks when I knew the ring would be done and ready to be picked up.

I went to the March for life the week after we looked at rings. While I was gone, Ryan showed up at my parent's house (Thursday). He was so nervous as he stood in the living room making small talk with my dad about his work. After about 15 minutes, he announced that he had come to ask my father's permission to propose to me. My dad was so pleased and told Ryan how happy he was about him, how good we were together, and how welcomed he would be into our family. Then he called my mom downstairs and informed her that Ryan had asked for my hand. :)

So that Saturday (I was driving back from the MFL), Ryan took his brother Adam and Adam's girlfriend Kimberley to Des Moines to order the ring. The ring came in a week later and he picked it up last weekend.

Then he asked me if I'd want to come up on Monday (2/2) to celebrate Valentine's day early. With it being Groundhog's day and all, I found it hilarious. Even better was that he had blurted out that he had gotten me chocolates (from Stam) even though it was supposed to be a surprise. But that was good because I bought him beer, which is equivalent to him buying me chocolate. I also got really dressed up in a little red dress, did my hair, put on my foo-foo shoes, and even wore lipstick!

I was a little suspicious that he wanted to propose to me, but thought that he wasn't ready to do that yet. So the whole way up to Ames I was praying to God for patience, trying to find my worth in Him, and to surrender my desires to His will.

When I got to Ames, we had to leave immediately to go to St. Thomas where Ryan had a 2 hour meeting. Luckily I got to hang out with Kimberley, which was fun.

After the meeting we went to pray in front of the tabernacle. We put our chairs right next to each other, sitting hand in hand and head to head. He was so fidgety! He kept looking up at me then looking back down. He would look up again seconds later, kiss my forehead, and look back down. This repeated for several minutes until he said "Are you ready?" and then we left.

The whole time I had been praying and the whole way home, I was trying so hard not to think about getting engaged. I kept singing I surrender over and over and over again. I was trying so hard to find my joy in the Lord rather than in anything else. I was trying so hard and was almost on the verge of tears at one point.

Back at his house he brought the chocolates out, which I thanked him for. Then he said "Oh wait, I have something else!" Is it a ring? I wondered... And he pulled out a bottle a wine.

K: "Oh...Thank you so much, that's very nice."

R: "And I have one more thing..."

He pulled out a little grey box... That had better not be a necklace!

K: "Are you serious!!?!?!"

R: Nodding, gets down on one knee. He was shaking so badly and couldn't even open the box at first!

K: "Are you serious!?!?!?!?!"

R: Nods vigorously. "Kathleen Balch, will you marry me?"

K: "Yes! ... Are you serious!!?!"

He put the ring on my finger and jumped up and hugged me. I kept saying "Are you serious?!?!" I was so happy and couldn't believe it. The next 30 minutes we just spent staring at each other.

And then we told EVERYONE. :)

And now I'm telling you! The wedding is going to be August 8th of this year! So I have a lot of work to do in the next 6 months! But it is the good and happy kind of work that I've always wanted to do!

Jesus, thank You for having better plans for me than I could have planned or imagined for myself! I love You and I trust in You!

letting go

I have been struck recenly by the idea that to begin to get what you want, you often have to let go first. This is especially applicable to me as I seem to really enjoy pressuring Ryan in a certain area.

I was listening to music yesterday and was struck by this line from Coldplay's Fix You...

And high up above or down below

When you're too in love to let it go

But if you never try you'll never know

Just what you're worth

I tend to place my worth is what others think of me. Yet, I need to truly let go and place myself in the arms of God, finding my worth in Him! (Not as easy to do as you'd think, but I'm getting better.)

The priest at confession cautioned me that if I kept pressuring Ryan and did get what I wanted, I would forever wonder if the gift was sincere. That was sobering enough for me to make an attitude adjustment.

Here are some more good quotes as well, though mostly unrelated.

Initial enthusiasm is easy. Afterward, though, it is time to stand firm, even along the monotonous desert paths that we are called upon to traverse in this life--with the patience it takes to tread evenly, a patience in which the romanticism of the initial awakening subsides, so that only the deep, pure Yes of faith remains.
Pope Benedict XVI (from Jesus of Nazareth pg 262)

God doesn't require us to succeed, He only requires us to try.
Mother Teresa

Stupidity is also a gift from God, but one mustn't misuse it.
Pope John Paul II

yes please

I always need confession, but sometimes I have an acute realization of that need.

I went to confession on Saturday and was amazed at how present Jesus really was to me during he sacrament. After I confessed my sins, the priest paused for a few moments and then reached deep into my soul, touching a place that I didn't even know was hurting!

I cried for the next 15 minutes, snotty nose and all!

How amazing is that?

Jesus, thank You for holy priests and for the sacrament of confession!