the good kind of change

So today I read about "The Necessity of Tribulation" from C.S. Lewis' The Problem of Pain. Basically, he said that we tend to run to God when we have problems but quickly forget Him when all is well again.

If only we could be like Job when the Lord allowed trials to fall upon him.

Naked I came forth from my mother's womb, and naked shall I go back again. The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD!

I remember how much comfort this verse gave me a few years ago during my "vocational crisis." I was on NET and really wanted to be a nun, but one day, God seemed to hide my future from me. Everything I had been so sure about was now in a complete haze. I prayed over and over that I would know my future. I wanted to do God's will in my life, but had gotten to the point where I would only accept one vocation as the answer to His call. So as Jesus was taking away my future, I tried to bless that Lord. [It was not as easy as Job made it sound, but it did help put things in perspective for me.]

My life is not my own. Everything I have is a gift from God, and He who gave such great things to me will never do anything that will harm me. If He calls me to change, it will be for the better.

I like to use leaves as an example of this. Here is one that I found on my way to Mass yesterday:

This leaf, as well as the other leaves on the tree with it, has been called by God to change from green to many different colors. It may have been scared to do this, it may have feared dying, but if only the leaf could partake of the beautiful landscape the the Creator was painting, I imagine that the leaf would gladly give its life for the cause.

It is the same with my life. If I am afraid that God's plans will "mess up" my life, I am stuck in my own, self-centered world. But, if I would trust that He has beautiful plans for me, as he had for my leaf friend, then I would not be able to say no to Him. My life is small and insignificant, but if I let Jesus use me, it can contribute to a beautiful work of art.

As a speaker at last year's Steubenville youth conference said, "What are we so afraid of from Someone who loves us so much?"