Sunday, April 17, 2005

creepiest thing ever invented

Today I was taking a shower and I looked at the wall above me and saw the creepiest thing that God has ever invented - the American house centipede.

Ok, friends, let me explain something to you...I am DEATHLY afraid of these things. Seriously. Everytime I see one, I can't help but scream. Not only are they creepy looking, but they also run about a million miles per hour and I'm pretty sure if they got a chance, they would eat me. Yes, devour me until nothing remained but my poor beautiful skeleton. I mean, these things "prey on cockroaches," according to the above website, so that tells you just how deadly these things are.

Usually I run to find a man/parent, but seeing as I was in the shower, I knew that this would be most inappropriate. So, I decided to kill it myself. Luckily for me, the thing fell off of the wall and onto my towel, so I grabbed a box of diaper wipes and started schwacking with all of my might, screaming the whole time. I could hear my mom in the other room going, "Why are you screaming?" So eventually I triumphed and was once again saved from the venemous jaws of the American house centipede (or "silverfish" as I tend to call them).

I felt very proud of myself.

Poor little guy, though. He never even really had a chance.

So of course, I had to tell you all about it, and when I was looking for pictures of centipedes, I came across the below picutre and decided that this was actually the creepiest thing ever invented.

Luckily for us, though, it is an altered photograph of a European Cross Spider a Locust and an American House Centipede (or a Spidelocapede as the artist has named it). But can you imagine how horrifying it would be to see one of these flying at you? I would be a gonner for sure. I bet it's even a foot long. Actually, this website is pretty neat...lots of interesting pictures of new animals that are actually three things in one.

So that's my story about centipedes for the day. Please pray for my future children, as I'm sure they will be so afraid of bugs that they will need counseling.

God bless you all!

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